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 Hunter Beasttooth: The Beginning

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AuthorMessage

S.A.C.T. Commander

S.A.C.T. Commander
dannybosa


FusionFall Name : Hunter Beasttooth
Level : 32
Male Posts : 474
Join date : 2013-03-11
Age : 17
FF Location : Mount Blackhood

PostSubject: Hunter Beasttooth: The Beginning    Mon Jun 24, 2013 7:18 am

He was born just after the fusion war began. His parents were killed when he was 13. His bro was his only family left. Both of them fed off trash can food and trained. They encountering fusions made them stronger and more skilled. One day he and his bro were fighting off monsters. Ben nearly died after be blasted in an explosion. Hunter gave him a first aid kit that heals wounds(like that healing thing in Hunger Games). Hunter is relieved that Ben didn't die but then another wave of monsters came. The brothers retreated but were still being chased. Hunter falls and nearly gets blasted but then he sees Ben fall down. Ben has a huge wound in his body. Ben dies but before that he tells Hunter remember who you are. Hunter is saddened. He runs back to the house but he finds it destroyed. He is surrounded still the S.A.C.T arrive. Lord Dane sees him but ignores him. Hunter yells to get his attention and throws a can at him. Dane gets ## and jumps down to fight him. Hunter backs up and punches him but it's caught and gets punched in the stomach. Dane attempts to kick him but hunt catches it and drops Dane down. Hunter proceeds to punch him till Dane starts to bleed. Dane punches him but hunt gets back up and gets Dane gun that was dropped. He has Dane at gun point. Dane says what are you waiting for. Hunter tells him he's not a killer. Dane replies not yet. Dane proceeds to tell him come  with me. Hunter says to where. Dane replies to the S.A.C.T hq. Hunter says no because he's need to get "something"(his bros body). Dane says is that your brother. Hunter says yes. Dane just rolls his eyes and moves on to the ship where Hunter will discover secrets

_________________
Ok LET THE DANNYBOSA CONCERT COMMENCE Band Bloo Dance ED Head Bang afro
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Dragoon

Dragoon
Dragoongamer86


FusionFall Name : Zane Sunboskov
Level : 36
Male Posts : 4305
Join date : 2012-06-11
Age : 17
FF Location : The little secluded island in Bravo Beach thinking

PostSubject: Re: Hunter Beasttooth: The Beginning    Mon Jun 24, 2013 7:21 am

somewhat good, requires slight improvement on grammar, pacing, and requires paragraphing, i'm the writing style god, fear me FearMe

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The most awesome guy you will ever see in gaming

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S.A.C.T. Commander

S.A.C.T. Commander
dannybosa


FusionFall Name : Hunter Beasttooth
Level : 32
Male Posts : 474
Join date : 2013-03-11
Age : 17
FF Location : Mount Blackhood

PostSubject: Re: Hunter Beasttooth: The Beginning    Mon Jun 24, 2013 7:38 am

Yeah yeah yeah

_________________
Ok LET THE DANNYBOSA CONCERT COMMENCE Band Bloo Dance ED Head Bang afro
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Zeroknight

Zeroknight
Zero Knight


Level : 1000
Male Posts : 4715
Join date : 2012-07-04
Age : 17
FF Location : Rodeo

PostSubject: Re: Hunter Beasttooth: The Beginning    Mon Jun 24, 2013 8:02 am

Dragoongamer86 wrote:
somewhat good, requires slight improvement on grammar, pacing, and requires paragraphing, i'm the writing style god, fear me FearMe
lol dude come on now, you're grammar isnt even so good, 

you put to many " , " and dont capitilize your "i's" you are being pretty hypocritical

I may not be master-grammar but still..


Dont worry man keep on doing what you're doing you, will get better the more you practice @Original Poster

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pics or it didnt happen :-}


Last edited by Zeroknight on Mon Jun 24, 2013 8:08 am; edited 1 time in total
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Dragoon

Dragoon
Dragoongamer86


FusionFall Name : Zane Sunboskov
Level : 36
Male Posts : 4305
Join date : 2012-06-11
Age : 17
FF Location : The little secluded island in Bravo Beach thinking

PostSubject: Re: Hunter Beasttooth: The Beginning    Mon Jun 24, 2013 8:06 am

Zero, i'm talking about in fanfictions, i intentionally don't use grammar properly in casual conversation to save time when i type, the point is, you can read it in casual conversation, commas are just there for pauses, and to avoid forming sentences that look like i intended them to be proper

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Hunter

Hunter
Dane Dweller


FusionFall Name : Dane Dweller
Level : 22
Male Posts : 1979
Join date : 2012-08-30
Age : 18
FF Location : Everywhere...

PostSubject: Re: Hunter Beasttooth: The Beginning    Mon Jun 24, 2013 11:41 am

Seriously.........Impressed bravo, Mr. Danny, bravo, though you need a few adjustments to your grammar, bravo, lol, and I like my character Too Funny, you know, cause I'm bad to the bone!Evilz
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PostSubject: Re: Hunter Beasttooth: The Beginning    Today at 9:11 am

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Hunter Beasttooth: The Beginning

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