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 Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)

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PostSubject: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Sun Aug 18, 2013 9:06 am

Decided to try this out. Ive been meaning to for a while but they never turn out good. If I didnt get this beginning good, just tell me and I'll probably stop posting it. Though, excuse the names. Couldnt think of any and some are a bit.... unusual....



"Stop it!" Manami yelled as her older brother Satoru held her necklace just out of reach. "Come on Manami, get it." Manami jumped up to reach it. Her hand grabbed onto the ruby pendant and got it out of her brothers reach. "Ha! I got it!" She said, sticking her tongue out.Her brother out of nowhere grabbed her and hugged her tightly. "Ah, you know Id give it back to you." He said. Just then, the doorbell rang. Manami looked over to her brother. "Are you expecting anyone?" She asked. He shook his head. He got up and went to the door. He opened it and there stood three people in business clothes. "Can I help you?" Satoru asked. The one in the front smiled. He had white hair and wore a blindfold. He was in a black suit. "hi. My name is Xavier. Is this the residence of Manami Hunter?" Manami came up behind her brother. "I'm Manami." She said. The three looked at each other. "Seriously. This is business. We need to see Manami." Xavier said. "I'm for real. I'm Manami Hunter. I'm 15 and I live here." The man in the back, who had slightly longer hair than Xavier, also had a blindfold and wore a black suit as well stepped up. "Stop messing around kid. She either comes to the door or we come in and find her ourselfs." He said. "Howard. Be nice." Xavier said to him. Howard stepped down and Xavier cleared his throat. "Sorry about that. But you cant be Manami. You're too little to be her." He said. "I may be short but I am Manami." The silent one spoke up. "Shes telling the truth." They startled Manami, causing her to jump. "You sure about that, Rae?" Howard asked. Rae nodded. She looked up and Manami saw her purple hair. She smiled and focused on Satoru. "We need to speak with Manami. Perferably alone." She said calmly. Satoru was about to argue when Manami put her hand on his shoulder. "Its fine. I'll be fine. I wont agree to anything without you." He stared at her, then nodded and stepped away. Manami stepped outside and shut the door behind her. The three stared at her, waiting for her to say something. "Sooo, you wanted to speak to me?" She said. Xavier nodded. "We need you to come with us." He said plainly. "Uh, where would I be going if I went with you?" Manami stepped back. "Dont worry. We wouldnt do anything to you. We would just need you to come with us and do a few tests." Rae said behind Xavier. "I dont know.... If my brother says yes to me going I can, but I dont think I'll be able to." Manami started twirling her bangs around her finger. "Well, I say we go ask the kids brother and if he says no then we leave." Howard said. Manami opened the door and called Satoru. "Everything alright?" He asked. Manami nodded and explained what was happening. "So, they want me to come back with them and take a few tests." Satoru shook his head. "No, plain and simple. I dont want you leaving without me and taking tests you dont even know about." Rae spoke up. "All it is is just simple tests. Nothing dangerous. And if anything were to happen we would be sure to tell you." She said. "I said no and I'm sticking with my answer." Xavier nodded. "Alright then. We are sorry for wasting your time." He turned around and walked out into the cold. Howard followed behind mumbling. Rae nodded goodbye and was the last to leave. Manami and Satoru went back inside. "I told you that you wouldnt be going anywhere." Satoru said. "But there was no reason for you to be so tense and firm like that. I wouldve been fine if I had gone. They were nice people and Rae even said-" "What any one of those people said doesnt mean its true." Satoru interupted. Manami stared at him then stomped upstairs to her room.

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Sun Aug 18, 2013 9:09 am

HEY, the point of being a writer is to NOT give into bad reviews, but this is kinda good anyway so...ThumbUp 

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Sun Aug 18, 2013 9:11 am

Dragoongamer86 wrote:
HEY, the point of being a writer is to NOT give into bad reviews, but this is kinda good anyway so...ThumbUp 
lol, kinda good. Razz  anyways, thanks. should I continue this?

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Sun Aug 18, 2013 9:13 am

well i don't see why not

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Sun Aug 18, 2013 11:33 am

I'm intrigued.  You should finish this.

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Sun Aug 18, 2013 11:54 am

I like it my curiosity is peeped

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Mon Aug 19, 2013 8:49 am

love it, you better make more lol, don't see why you thought anyone of us would seriously say something you made wasn't good, we pretty much complimented everything you ever made on here. Razz
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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Mon Aug 19, 2013 8:56 am

Tru dat

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Mon Aug 19, 2013 9:54 am

Chapter 2 is here! Razz


The next morning, Manami found a letter taped to her door.
      Manami,
 Went to work. I'll be back as soon as I can.
                                    Satoru
P.S. Please dont do anything dumb while I'm gone

 Manami rolled her eyes and crumpled up the paper. She went downstairs and straight to the computer. She logged onto her profile and turned on her music. She turned the volume to 100. Evanescence blasted through the house. Walking to the kitchen, she felt as though she was being watched. She shook it off. She looked through all the cabinets. Once she reached the last one, she realized she really needed to go shopping. She sighed and slammed the cabinet door shut. She opened up the fridge and pulled out the apple juice. She walked over to the counter, pulled out a cup and poured the apple juice. "Not going to offer any to your guests?" a voice behind her asked. She jumped and turned around. There stood Howard, Rae, and Xavier. "How rude" Howard said. Manami's eyes widened and she dropped her cup. "How did you get in here?" She exclaimed. "Your brother forgot to lock the door this morning" Rae answered. "So you just walk in?" She nodded her head. "Pretty much" Manami stepped around the glass on the floor and grabbed the broom. "Look, my brother gave his answer yesterday. I'm not going anywhere." She said as she swept up the glass shards. "It doesnt really matter what he says. Its your decision." Xavier said, breaking his silence. Manami turned to him. "Well, his decision is the final answer." "Not in this case" Rae said. "All up to you." She leaned on the counter. "What do ya say? Care to come with us, do these tests then come home?" She asked. Manami shook her head. "Not gonna happen." She threw away the glass and put the broom in place against the wall. "Thats it" Howard said. He grabbed Manamis wrist. "Lets go" Manami struggled against his pull. Xavier grabbed a pen and sheet of paper and jotted something down. Rae turned off the music and pushed in the chair. "let me go!" Manami said as she punched Howard. He chuckled and shook his head. The four went outside into the snow. Rae ran ahead and opened up the back seat door to their car. Manami was tossed inside. Rae climbed in after her while Howard and Xavier took the front seats. "Rest. It'll be a long ride." Xavier said. Mananmi was about to fight, but felt light headed, then passed out.

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Mon Aug 19, 2013 9:59 am

Make a chapter three for the sake of AWESOMENESS!!!!YouRock ThumbsUp2 YouRock

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Mon Aug 19, 2013 10:01 am

Poor manami, she's about to get it.

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Mon Aug 19, 2013 11:04 am

AHA, i knew you'd take what you learned from me and post all Chaps in the same thread cheers 

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Tue Aug 20, 2013 11:11 am

Chapter three.


Manami opened her eyes a little. She took in what she could feel and see. Though she couldnt really see much given that she was being blinded by the bright lights above her head. She was lying on a hard, cold surface. A table? Just then, she heard the door open. "Alright. Lets get this started." a voice said. Manami thought it was Xavier. Certainly sounded like it. "I thought you said we were going to wait until she wakes up?" Another voice asked. Rae. It was silent for a few seconds. Then Manami felt a pain in her neck.She flinched. "Shes awake." Xavier said. Figuring she was probably supposed to open her eyes now, she opened them and looked over to the two. She then saw that the pain was a needle and the needle was hooked up to a machine. "Whats going on?" She asked. "This is one of the tests you'll be taking." Rae said. "Uh, nope! Not gonna happen. Let me out of here and take me home" Manami tried to move her hands but found herself bounded to the table. "Nope. Cant. Just this one." Xavier switched the machine on. A liquid went from the needle and into Manamis throat. She couldnt move. In fact, it seemed like she couldnt even breathe. Then everything went black.
  When she opened her eyes again it seemed that she was in an infirmary. She sat up. The lights were pretty dim, so she could see fine. She swung her legs over the bed and stood up. She shivered and looked at her clothes. She was wearing a green and black striped halter top and white pants. Her hands went to her head and found it was put up in moon rings. She went over to the door and left the room. Once she got out of the infermary completely, she saw an amazing place she could only describe as a dream. There were tons of people walking around. Then, her eyes landed on two certain people. Apparently, they spotted her too and made their way over to her.
  "Youre finally awake!" Rae said. "Where am I?" Manami asked rudely. "Relax. If we told you I'm positive you wouldnt believe us." Xavier said. "Tell me anyways." Xavier sighed. "You're in Xtreme. Good to see you back Zoe."

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Tue Aug 20, 2013 12:12 pm

Wow this is soooooo cool Rock2

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Tue Aug 20, 2013 3:25 pm

Haha that made me smile.

Very nice.

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Thu Aug 22, 2013 11:47 am

Sorry for the delay. Tons of homework already. Sad


"Zoe?" She said. The two nodded. "Thought you'd at least remember us here." Rae said. "Yeah, Xavier and Rae. Thats your names, right?" Xavier nodded. "In a way. Its really X and Undelos."  He explained. "That means that.... Howard was Hom?" Zoe asked. "They nodded. "Now you're getting it." Undelos said. "Give me time to process this." Zoe said, holding up her hand. The two in front of her nodded and then walked away. She looked up with her hand on her head. "Xtreme." She said. She laughed. 'Sounds like home' she thought to herself. She counted on her fingers things she remembered about the three she knew. Undelos. An Xtreme artist. Pretty supportive. Then Hom, God of Xtreme as people called him. Not really much she knew about him. Then last but not least was X. Pretty much the leader of Xtreme.Yep, she didnt really know them. She laughed to herself. How can she say that she was from here when she didnt even know much about these people. Zoe shook her head and stood up. She looked around. After a while of looking around, she just started walking, not knowing what exactly she was looking for.
  After an hour of walking around aimlessly, she came upon the bedrooms. She walked down the long hallway. It seemed endless. About halfway down the hall, she found a door with her name on it in crazy decorative letters. She put her hand on the handle, and slowly opened it. The lights automatically turned on. As she walked in, she was amazed. Her room was huge. In the corner was a desk with an unfinished project on it. Also on the desk were a bunch of tools, papers, and pens and pencils. There was a bookcase next to her bed on the other side of the room. There was a piano and a guitar on the wall. She looked over to the closet and dresser at the foot of the bed. She walked over and opened the doors. There was a ton of clothes on hangers. Most of the shirts were more striped halter tops, but there were also black long sleeved shirts. She grabbed a black long sleeved shirt and slipped it on. She changed her shoes to sneakers that were on the floor in the closet. Once she had changed, she went over to the desk to see what the unfinished project was. She examined it and eventually realized it was a hoverboard in the making. "I was repairing this?" Zoe asked herself. "Yep. You sure were." She turned around and there by the door was a boy. "The names Dane in case you forgot." He said. "Dane." Zoe said. Suddenly everything clicked. "Dane!" Dane was pretty much one of Zoe's closest friends. They had practically everything in common. "Zoe!" Dane exclaimed, not knowing what else to say. "Come on, I need to show you where everything is again so you dont go somewhere youre not supposed to be." Dane said, motioning Zoe to follow. Zoe nodded and followed Dane out the room.

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Thu Aug 22, 2013 11:53 am

don't you worry your pretty little head about delays, as long as we get to read it, we don't mind, am i right people, AM I RIGHT LIES 

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Thu Aug 22, 2013 11:54 am

you see ladies and gentlemen, Zoe has common sense...by putting me as the first to be interviewed in her comic Seriously you should ALWAYS put the villain first in the comic FearMe ....GREAT! comic Zoe, GREAT! Sure Lol

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Thu Aug 22, 2013 12:06 pm

FANFICTION FLIPPIN' DANG IT, FANFICTION, you did that on my story, don't go saying Comic on a FanFiction LIES 

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Thu Aug 22, 2013 12:11 pm

Dragoongamer86 wrote:
FANFICTION FLIPPIN' DANG IT, FANFICTION, you did that on my story, don't go saying Comic on a FanFiction LIES 
STOP NITPICKING!!! Rage does it REALLY matter if I mix up comic's and fan fictions? Jelous does it? because I don't care LIES because she show'd me respect as the first to appear besides the big three unlike SOME people Sure Lol
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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Thu Aug 22, 2013 12:23 pm

villains can be introduced, added, or revealed at any point in a story, Dane LIES  many RPGs for example, you don't know who the main or even assistant villain is until WAAAAAY later

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Thu Aug 22, 2013 12:24 pm

Dragoongamer86 wrote:
villains can be introduced, added, or revealed at any point in a story, Dane LIES  many RPGs for example, you don't know who the main or even assistant villain is until WAAAAAY later
meh, as long as I'm introduced in a Fan Fiction before you, I'm happy tongue
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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Thu Aug 22, 2013 12:30 pm

wait a minute i never thought of that, hold on

ZOE, AM I GONNA BE IN YOUR STORY, AND IF SO, CAN YOU MAKE IT SO THAT DANE IS LEFT BEHIND UNTIL AFTER I COME IN...WHAT, WHAT DO YA MEAN NO, PLEEEEEAAAASE Crying2 

i shouted because she's way off in the distance

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Thu Aug 22, 2013 12:47 pm

Dragoongamer86 wrote:
wait a minute i never thought of that, hold on

ZOE, AM I GONNA BE IN YOUR STORY, AND IF SO, CAN YOU MAKE IT SO THAT DANE IS LEFT BEHIND UNTIL AFTER I COME IN...WHAT, WHAT DO YA MEAN NO, PLEEEEEAAAASE Crying2 

i shouted because she's way off in the distance
she wearing ear-muffs Troll Face
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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Thu Aug 22, 2013 12:51 pm

Keep it up zoe its looking great Smile 2 away from 5k cheers Wink

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PostSubject: Re: Xtreme story (forum fanfiction??)   Fri Aug 23, 2013 1:25 am

NICE ZOE YouRock

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