@Undelos, never be hard on yourself like that.
A pro is a pro, regardless of how he/she got there.
No one draws like a pro at a super young age and the
ones that do, are probably savants, use some parts of their brains so effectively
(e.g. right hemisphere, or are good at combining the two hemispheres)
or have some other kind of
biological advantage such a eidetic memory and different wiring
of the brain or nervous system and motor skills.
Or they could have been taught from birth.
I've read that eidetic memory (which is INSANELY helpful for drawing)
is rare or uncommon in children and virtually non-existent in adults.
Sometimes it's difficult to accept but using n00b tools
like rulers, grids, references are not so n00by after all.
I should have accepted that sooner.
There's no shame in not hitting the ground running.
It's like a skinny guy trying to lift the heaviest weight.
Progressive improvement, practice and trying new things are what make
an above average artist, great and beyond. An ego won't get you through
the entire race but it might help, (with confidence and motivation to improve)
but it won't give you the skills directly.
I think I may have had eidetic memory as a young child (though I don't understand the definition completely)
but when I visualise at this age, it feels very faded and transparent if that makes sense?
Shame that I don't remember using the eidetic memory for art; well I'm not sure
if I ever had it. Remembering childhood stuff is difficult sometimes.
I find it difficult to dream in colour.
But sometimes in lucid dreams (have only had a fair number of them)
they usually have vivid colours in HD like it was a Bluray
but obviously with some blurry aspects as dreams never do seem to be 100% crystal clear and sharp.
Some artists use logic (e.g. grids, angles, measurements)
and some use creativity (blindly trying with/without visualising, using music, emotions, colours, inspiration).
Others use both to different degrees.
Accept the journey, no one's going to interrogate you on how
you made your drawings, they just want to see your work and a brief understanding
of your technique. To some people, drawing realistically is boring because
it makes the artist look like a photocopier but to me, I would really like to do draw photorealistically
though I don't have the time, knowledge or motivation to properly try.
Less than photorealistic drawings are still good though and sometimes better.
One disadvantage of photorealism is that they take ages.
And advantage is that they look good, 'correct' and recognisable because we have
real life references that we can relate to and are more familiar with.
Long post huh....sorry was listening to sad piano music and this happened.
Could'a been worse.