so i'm in my school's writing club, and for Valentine's (we had a school break too) we decided to write stories for each other.
The one I randomly got chosen to write is for this girl we call iggy (I don't even know her real name) hahaha and so her prompt, was:
"write about Batman and Robin going Christmas shopping, extra points if you can throw in some puns"
So here it is!!!
(because I know how much y'all like to read walls of text)
"I do not enjoy this," Batman stood in the middle of the local toys R us, as kids ran around him screaming songs. "Are you sure they're just singing Christmas songs?"
"Of course, it's Jingle Bells," Over the years, Robin had learned to mask his enjoyment. He swept his dark messy hair out of his eyes and continued to look through the games with, "Jingle bells, batman smells," being chanted in the background.
"I think we should pick something up for my cousin,"
"You're cousin?" Bruce groaned.
"Yes my cousin, and quit your Wayning, we'll be done soon," The comment did not get missed.
"Ha. Ha." Bruce lifted his head in a fake laugh and then stared back at Robin, "you think you're such a joker."
A wicked flash went through Robin's eyes, "a what?" He was excited now.
"umm nothing," Bruce looked down at the floor and regained his serious image. Robin dropped the game he was look at onto the floor and grabbed Bruce's wrist and barreled towards a new aisle. Before Bruce could ask what was going on, Robin grabbed a bright red flashlight, then a yellow one, then about twenty more random flashlights he could reach.
"Nuhnuhnuhnuhno-" but the damage was done, and Robin held up his green gloved hand to silence him.
"We're going to need lots of these," then he paused. The kids could still be heard singing their song through the store. Robin broke his serious face and began to smile in the pause, breaking his character, "you're supposed to ask why" he whispered, giggling.
Robin covered his mouth and regained character, "Because, batman," another pause for dramatic affect, "It's going to be a Dark Knight!!" He struck a heroic pose, waiting for a laugh. But Bruce just sighed and walked away. He turned to a kid carrying a batman action figure.
"I'm not with him," jabbing his thumb in Robin's direction.
The kid just dropped the toy and stared with a gaping mouth, watching the superhero drudge off.
"Hey, kid, don't worry he's pretty cool," Robin ruffled his hair and put the action figure back in his arms, "stay in school!" And with the Robin ran after Batman.
"you gotta admit, that was pretty hilarious," Robin nudged his arm.
"You Guess??? Really?!!" He stopped walking and then quickly tried to catch up, "How can you just guess?"
"Can we just not talk about it?"
Robin ran in front of Bruce and put his hand on batman's chest to keep him from moving, "Oh we're going to talk about it, I mean, how can you go so long without laughing at my jokes? I'm Hilarious!" Batman side-stepped around him, "One day you're going to laugh,"
"sure, okay," They continued to walk through Toys R Us, "So why are we in costume?" Bruce finally asked.
"Oh, to get free stuff, they never make us pay,"
Bruce stopped, "you're putting me through this, to get free things?"
Robin scratched the back of his head, "well?"
"and you know this, how?"
Robin laughed nervously, and then looking up at Bruce with all seriousness in his eyes, "I cannot penguin to tell you-"
Robin held up his hands, as if to surrender, "fine, fine," and continued to t closest aisle. There he stood examining a tin 30th anniversary set of Risk.
"I think this would be good,"
"For your cousin?"
"Well I dunno who for, it'll come to me eventually,"
Bruce sighed, how did Robin have so much family, he often wondered, but he always just shrugged it off. He looked back at Robin who was still looking over the box.
"hmm" Robin put a finger to his lips, "I think this one is good, you can Harvey notice the dent in the top-"
"THAT'S IT!" Robin quickly put back the box. Bruce placed one hand on his waist while pinching the bridge of his nose with the other. He sat there for a few seconds just breathing and then, "we're leaving." When he opened his eyes Robin was gone.
"Over here," he shouted, and then under his breath added "you're as blind as a bat"
"I heard that" Bruce muttered as he got closer to Robin, who was waiting in line to buy everything in his cart.
"Heard what?" His smile showed practically all of his teeth, and then he went back to looking to the front of the line.
On both sides the people stayed nearly 3 feet away, not sure whether to stare or stay away. Jingle Bells came over the speakers again.
"How many times do they have to play this song?"
"It's christmas! Just get in the spirit!" Robin put his hand on his shoulder, but quickly took it off before Bruce could shrug away.
Quietly in the background you could hear the voices singing, "Batman smells, Robin laid an egg."
Bruce stood there, uncomfortable, for a good two minutes until he burst, "sorry everyone, it's an emergancy," He grabbed robins arm and the cart and ran outside. Robin just waved to everyone on the way out.
"Sorry for the inconvenience!" he shouted.
When they were finally out of the store, Bruce breathed heavily.
"calm down dude,"
"I will not" breath "calm" breath "down,"
"okay..." Robin looked around at the parkinglot. It didn't take much effort to find their car. Minivan, minivan, batmobile. "shall we, go? or something?"
"Robin," big breath, "that is the best thing you've said all day," Bruce jumped up and dramatically pointed a finger, "To The Batmobile!"
Robin gave him a few seconds, "yeah!" he added, and then, "but the cars over here," with that, Robin grabbed all his trinkets and walked towards the car.
"i'll drive!" Robin opened the door and got in the front seat.
Bruce sighed and walked to the passenger side, "i'm so glad that's over,"
"Oh that? that was only my moms side of the family."
The engine roared to life.
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