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| 7 Legends story draft *SPOILER ALERT* | |
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RETIRED Administrator
XLR8 147
FusionFall Name : XLR8 147 + IRON 147 Level : 36 Posts : 5882 Join date : 2010-08-21 Age : 28 FF Location : Sector V [Future :D]
| Subject: 7 Legends story draft *SPOILER ALERT* Mon Feb 13, 2012 3:01 pm | |
| First topic message reminder :I have finished the first WEAK draft of the movie storyline. (Weak as in, I wrote it in a short time without thinking too much, not using many linguistic features and also not including the settings used in the movie; this will be decided when we film as the setting isn't all that important right now especially since there are going to be changes in setting as characters move around. Not to mention there were changes in past and present tenses which isn't usually a good idea when story telling but it's just a draft lolz. And not all the dialogue is there, I think it would be better if there were some dialogue in the beginning and middle, not just the end. Many other mistakes too.) This is the first draft, just under 1.5k words. Read if you MUST. And if you do, please tell me what you think, what went well, what needs to be improved, suggestions to make it better, adding or taking things away etc. Restructuring, character roles, whatever, etc. *HUGE SPOILER* - Spoiler:
There were 7 legends who protected Earth, these strengths of humanity deterred fusions under the ground; not to be seen again. However this team wasn’t jolly the entire time, there were eventually complications. Slim as a Lucifer figure he could first start off as the eager to do right in front of everyone and claim glory, kind of guy. (The n00b, put simply) Then he tries to compete with his own team, see he isn't nice from the start either, well not entirely, he's VERY misguided. He then gets annoyed how well these guys are doing compared to him, he goes against law and stages an 'accident' in which he purposely tries to fix to become a superior figure among the group and the whole community.
This accident results in a death and he is exposed, he gets withdrawn from the group, they kick him out. He gets a new nature, the jealousy evolves, he then sabotages the group's friendships by spreading things around. The final blow? He pretends a member murdered a fellow member's friend or family member when in fact Slim was the murderer. (He gathers false evidence) They believe there are traitors and liers amongst themselves, thus split up and go their own ways, hanging up the 'cape', they return to their normal lives or hide out in an area of the world inhabited by humans.
With the Legends out of the way, Slim takes his diamond sword and causes the Fusion Empire to rise. (Not sure how but it's a start) 6 months later, hell is on Earth and people (after panicking) have decided to evacuate and hide in caves. Some were unlucky enough to become slaves or worse.
From this deserted world, with few above ground human habitants, a handful, (7 to be precise) train and decide to fight back as a team. This was the formation of the new 7 Legends. These new 7 Legends became the world’s saviours, XLR8 147, the group leader, owned a diamond sword passed down from previous generations, it finally rose to it’s original purpose. As Slim grew stronger, his mind became weaker, especially when he found out about the rebirth of the 7 legends, and this time one of them has something he needs for his universal domination plan. The legends had to overcome obstacles to get to Slim, they had to stay above sea level in flooded areas of the world and they even had to sky dive down a city. They came across more hordes of fusions. As the legends were fighting furiously with fusion minions, Slim De Jackson hired a human assassin to defeat these legends, one by one. This human assassin was most likely XLR8 147’s equal, he has white hair, he wore a black blindfold and was skilled in smaller blades; he hid in the shadows, waiting for the legends to become separated. He targeted a member of the group, he struck his blades into his victim and smiled. He turned the body over to find out in devastating horror, it was his beloved girl friend. He dropped his weapons, fell to the floor on his knees; indescribably upset, he was comforted by the legends who agreed to look after her in case she recovered, it didn’t look good, she was rushed to a hospital immediately. After mentally and physically collapsing, he found the errors of his ways and decided to go to the light side as he rediscovered, life is too short. Hom Choi received a call from Slim and but he crushed the communicator. The legends asked if he wanted to join them, Hom accepted this offer. There were now 8 unstoppable legends. Slim, furious at this loss of a follower, ordered fusion minions to kidnap bella, a ‘friend’ from high school who rejected his friendship, embarrassed and humiliated him.
He thought as well as luring the legends into a trap, to gain access to XLR8’s diamond sword, (Slim had one but needed the other one to complete this dual set which was needed to fully bring out the power of fusion matter and conquer other worlds and the entire universe) he also wanted to punish Bella for what she did that angered him all those years ago. The legends were on the verge of finding Slim’s hideout but they were forced to split up; Bella was being protected by the fearless Pistol, who was armed. He failed in his mission and the fusion minions and the notorious Don Doom all helped in bringing her down and they brought her to Slim’s hideout. Pistol, heavily guilty for not protecting Bella, confesses the bad news to the rest of the legends. Slim calls on the legends to come and get Bella if they think they’re strong enough. The legends naturally bravely but illogically and swiftly without a moments thought, go to find Bella. They find Bella but Slim is nowhere to be found; a fusion army ambush the team.
While the team fight the fusion monsters, they are oblivious of the fact that Slim is trying to snipe the legends. One of the legends is hit. Others fall in battle as they cannot keep up with the large numbers. One of the few legends remaining, goes and stays to help the wounded while the others still standing, go to catch Slim as he is at his most defenceless status. Slim disappears, they try hunting him down, taking several paths with dead ends and false clues. They reach their final destination. Slim’s cornered at Monkey Mountain. Hom Choi says, “you’ll pay for what you’ve done.” Slim replies, “oh really? So I was the one who killed your precious girl friend? Ha! I had given you the wrong coordinates, I purposely told you to kill the wrong individual. You can thank me later, she wasn’t so great and now she’ll burn with the rest of you.” XLR8 says, “was it really worth it? All these lives taken just so you can have your stupid little lonely empire?” Slim replies, “ *laughs* I can’t believe this. You don’t understand fool. This world will be expensive junk to sell to other worlds and when the bargains’ struck, they’ll burn too. This money will get me anything I want, slaves, minerals, riches, food, armies, armor....and blood. I intend to see the worlds burn, only the ones I don’t particularly like, the ones I do like, heh, let’s just say the moon won’t be habitant with human astronauts, rather a lord with literally all the money in the world, surrounded by slaves and high school fiends who I have special jobs for.” XLR8 proclaims, “ah, so this is what it’s about, an idiot from school can’t take he wasn’t the most popular and now he has to destroy worlds to shove it in their faces. You’re so low life.” Slim: “enough noob talk, bring it, angel boy.” Hom Choi isn’t hesitant to beat Slim to pieces and strikes first. Slim’s agility outmatches Hom and he blocks every strike. Slim: “well that was very entertaining but I have worlds to destroy and conquer, see ya!” Slim disappears once again. Hom the assassin figures out his escape route and sees him climbing up the mountain. The remaining legends climb up to catch him. Slim: “oh no, angel boy and assassin’s creed just don’t know when to stop.” XLR8: “that’s XLR8, you hear?!” They all reach the top. Slim: “at least one of us wont survive this.”
Hom: “send us a post card once you fall in the volcano.” Slim: “I have no intention of falling in there, you on the other hand would suit that proposal much better.” XLR8: “Hom! Now!” Hom Choi throws a grenade and jumps onto a rock for safety. XLR8 is caught in the blast. Slim and Oliver (De Zombieweasel, the scientist, Dexter looking guy) are the only ones standing on the volcano. Oliver tries to calculate ways of tripping his balance. Oliver: “oooh, feeling shaky are you, Slim?” Slim: “only when I see your ugly face.” Oliver: “charming...well you’ll be seeing more of me then, in your nightmares.” XLR8 gets up and says, “rest in pieces” and kicks Slim off the volcano. Oliver: “OMG dude you killed him!!” XLR8: “don’t worry..” Oliver: “he was a fellow human being...” XLR8: “but...” Oliver: “he could have been the next einstein” XLR8: “dude...” Oliver: “I’ll miss that guy...” XLR8: “DUDE!” Oliver: “WHAT??” XLR8: “don’t worry man, he’ll respawn, it’s just a game after all.” Oliver: “oh yeah.” Hom Choi gets on the volcano: “so what I miss?” XLR8: “I just kicked Slim off a volcano.” Oliver: “WHYY!!....” Hom Choi: “THAT’S SO COOL, wish I was thar. ” the remaining legends walk off while Oliver goes on and on about the ‘death’ of Slim. Sad music, credits...the end. The original 7 legends silently appear in halloween skeleton suits, watching the new legends go past. NOW...the end.
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Moderator
Tentegen
FusionFall Name : Jazz "Mau" Taluring Level : 21 Posts : 6296 Join date : 2011-09-06 Age : 33 FF Location : Sustained Panic
| Subject: Re: 7 Legends story draft *SPOILER ALERT* Sat Feb 25, 2012 12:14 am | |
| - DeZombieweasel wrote:
- I got the idea from Spyro 2.
A Classic Fan. I think a post just re-made my day. |
| | | Doc Ock
DOC OCK
Posts : 79 Join date : 2011-08-11 FF Location : Marvel Universe
| Subject: Re: 7 Legends story draft *SPOILER ALERT* Sat Feb 25, 2012 12:17 am | |
| - DeZombieweasel wrote:
- By book, I meant one sentence per page with a picture at the top, for those who didn't know what I meant. And that'll be a LOT of people.
remember me dude? i went on ur website im doc ock! HI BUDDY! I didnt know you joined. |
| | | Tech Support & MOD
Oli Zombieweasel
FusionFall Name : Oli Zombieweasel Level : 36 Posts : 13322 Join date : 2011-11-19 Age : 28 FF Location : Aionios
| Subject: Re: 7 Legends story draft *SPOILER ALERT* Sat Feb 25, 2012 12:24 am | |
| - DOC OCK wrote:
- DeZombieweasel wrote:
- By book, I meant one sentence per page with a picture at the top, for those who didn't know what I meant. And that'll be a LOT of people.
remember me dude? i went on ur website im doc ock! HI BUDDY! I didnt know you joined. Yeah, I'm mysterious that way. |
| | | Doc Ock
DOC OCK
Posts : 79 Join date : 2011-08-11 FF Location : Marvel Universe
| Subject: Re: 7 Legends story draft *SPOILER ALERT* Sat Feb 25, 2012 12:26 am | |
| Lol glad you joined this place! ITS SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry random :bananalama: |
| | | Tech Support & MOD
Oli Zombieweasel
FusionFall Name : Oli Zombieweasel Level : 36 Posts : 13322 Join date : 2011-11-19 Age : 28 FF Location : Aionios
| Subject: Re: 7 Legends story draft *SPOILER ALERT* Sat Feb 25, 2012 12:35 am | |
| - DOC OCK wrote:
- Lol glad you joined this place!
ITS SATURDAY!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry random :bananalama: Don't remind me, Saturday is the best day of the week! No school, you get to lie in the morning and then the NEXT morning, too! And I've been a member since I think last November. |
| | | Tech Support & MOD
Oli Zombieweasel
FusionFall Name : Oli Zombieweasel Level : 36 Posts : 13322 Join date : 2011-11-19 Age : 28 FF Location : Aionios
| Subject: Re: 7 Legends story draft *SPOILER ALERT* Fri Mar 02, 2012 8:55 pm | |
| Anybody free to film this weekend? |
| | | Member
NagaDCrow
FusionFall Name : Pistol Nitrochampion Level : 0 Posts : 456 Join date : 2011-12-11 Age : 27 FF Location : Henrir's Time and Space
| Subject: Re: 7 Legends story draft *SPOILER ALERT* Fri Mar 02, 2012 10:37 pm | |
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| | | Tech Support & MOD
Oli Zombieweasel
FusionFall Name : Oli Zombieweasel Level : 36 Posts : 13322 Join date : 2011-11-19 Age : 28 FF Location : Aionios
| Subject: Re: 7 Legends story draft *SPOILER ALERT* Sat Mar 03, 2012 12:33 am | |
| I was thinking at about 10am EST (3pm GMT). If we can all make it, great! |
| | | Member
NagaDCrow
FusionFall Name : Pistol Nitrochampion Level : 0 Posts : 456 Join date : 2011-12-11 Age : 27 FF Location : Henrir's Time and Space
| Subject: Re: 7 Legends story draft *SPOILER ALERT* Sat Mar 03, 2012 12:56 am | |
| I'll be sure to try to make it....where should we meet up at? |
| | | Moderator
Tentegen
FusionFall Name : Jazz "Mau" Taluring Level : 21 Posts : 6296 Join date : 2011-09-06 Age : 33 FF Location : Sustained Panic
| Subject: Re: 7 Legends story draft *SPOILER ALERT* Sat Mar 03, 2012 3:30 am | |
| I'll see what I can do. Make sure everyone, If you log in, open up separate window to the chat room here on Xtreme. |
| | | Tech Support & MOD
Oli Zombieweasel
FusionFall Name : Oli Zombieweasel Level : 36 Posts : 13322 Join date : 2011-11-19 Age : 28 FF Location : Aionios
| Subject: Re: 7 Legends story draft *SPOILER ALERT* Sat Mar 03, 2012 1:54 pm | |
| - Undelos wrote:
- I'll see what I can do. Make sure everyone, If you log in, open up separate window to the chat room here on Xtreme.
I'll be on seperate computers. Mine (For chat) and my sister's (for game). Makes it easier for me and I'm sure everyone by now knows the reason I can't play FF on mine. |
| | | Moderator
Tentegen
FusionFall Name : Jazz "Mau" Taluring Level : 21 Posts : 6296 Join date : 2011-09-06 Age : 33 FF Location : Sustained Panic
| Subject: Re: 7 Legends story draft *SPOILER ALERT* Sat Mar 03, 2012 2:54 pm | |
| No I didnt know that. One of my friends is addicted to Minecraft. I thought about trying it out though. |
| | | Tech Support & MOD
Oli Zombieweasel
FusionFall Name : Oli Zombieweasel Level : 36 Posts : 13322 Join date : 2011-11-19 Age : 28 FF Location : Aionios
| Subject: Re: 7 Legends story draft *SPOILER ALERT* Sat Mar 03, 2012 3:46 pm | |
| Ok, I don't think we'd be able to film today. I gotta go in 15 mins anyway... |
| | | Moderator
Tentegen
FusionFall Name : Jazz "Mau" Taluring Level : 21 Posts : 6296 Join date : 2011-09-06 Age : 33 FF Location : Sustained Panic
| Subject: Re: 7 Legends story draft *SPOILER ALERT* Sat Mar 03, 2012 3:50 pm | |
| Alright. I just got hooked up too. |
| | | Member
NagaDCrow
FusionFall Name : Pistol Nitrochampion Level : 0 Posts : 456 Join date : 2011-12-11 Age : 27 FF Location : Henrir's Time and Space
| Subject: Re: 7 Legends story draft *SPOILER ALERT* Mon Mar 05, 2012 11:50 pm | |
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| | | Moderator
Tentegen
FusionFall Name : Jazz "Mau" Taluring Level : 21 Posts : 6296 Join date : 2011-09-06 Age : 33 FF Location : Sustained Panic
| Subject: Re: 7 Legends story draft *SPOILER ALERT* Tue Mar 06, 2012 9:40 pm | |
| Sorry about that. I ended up having to leave too. |
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