The Mysterious Irken Detective (Prologue)
In a galaxy far far away... wait no, now I made you think I was from Star Wars, Nahh. My story lies somewhere else. Irken Empire, ever heard of it? The Irkens are an imperialistic race of green-skinned humanoids from the planet Irk. The basic goal of the Irken race is total universal conquest; they mostly attain this feat with the aid of their vast armada, which aids in planetary destruction via a sort of final attack called the Organic Sweep. How fancy are we? The Irkens implement the Organic Sweep after one of their own, an Irken Invader, has successfully infiltrated and taken over a planet they intend to conquer and has learned of its main weaknesses. When the intelligent inhabitants of the planet have succumbed to Irken persuasion, they are forced to work as slaves; non-sapient inhabitants are simply killed off. The planet is then given a single purpose: For example, Foodcourtia became an intergalactic food court, the planet Vort became Irk's top military research prison, and Blorch became a parking structure planet.
Hah, well enough about them, I'm Zara, no last name, just Zara, and I am about to go see the Almighty Tallests and find out my own mission, My own little PAK on my back, The PAK is a backpack-like device that is grafted to the spine of every Irken upon their hatching. Serving as a secondary brain, the PAK contains all of an Irken's personality and statistics. It is never revealed what PAK stands for, or if it stands for anything at all other than a variation on "pack".
Irkens can only survive 10 minutes without their PAK, once it has been removed, a 'Lifeclock' appears in their mind's eye, counting down how much longer their body shell can last. The longer the Irken goes without it, the more incoherent and uncoordinated they become, and it seems to take a lot of willpower for them to muster up any strength or logic in their PAK-less state
Booooririnnnggggg.
Now what I really want, is a SIR, SIR (Standard Information Retrieval) Units are robots designed to assist invaders in their missions. They help gather information on their master's assigned planet. GIR, Zim's SIR Unit, is a malfunctioning SIR Unit. Because Zim is not an official Invader, the Almighty Tallest didn't want to give him a proper one, so they put garbage inside GIR's head instead of a brain.
SIR Units are unable to reproduce because they are robots. However, they appear to have two ##. MiMi is a feminine programmed SIR Unit. She was made by Tak, and is more powerful than most other SIRs. Also, if a SIR Unit has an antenna, it`s malfunctioning.
Well we're here ,
"Ah look, it's our adorable little Zara, she's so small, makes me feel even more tall," laughed Red, the red outfit wearing Tallest.
"Wait, waiiiit wait," said Purple as he stuck me in a little hole next to Red "hahaha look at how small she is now."
"Um, sirs, please? My mission?" I asked them calmly
"Hey Red, did we install more lazers? I think the pretty colors make my eyes look more dazzlinng" Said Purple as they both laughed.
I took out a mini Irken plasma pistol and pointed at them.
"IEAAHHA" yelled Red.
"Whoa there sister, you cray cray." said Purple.
"Mission, me. gimme. Now" I said with my patience disappearing."I want my SIR unit"
"Alright alright you sassy beast you, We want you to go kill our banned Irken warrior, Zim" replied Purple as he handed her a little Robot SIR.
"Piece of cake." I said smiling.